📰 TGIWednesday Fish Tales: It’s a miracle, I can see! 👀👁️

The optical tech was kind and efficient.  Yes, I could see the old farmhouse on a hill surrounded by wheat fields  in the photo.  Yes, I found the cruise ship on the horizon too .  The puff of air into my eyes didn’t knock me off the chair so I figured that was a good sign.

They had a new machine which I had to really squish my face into like a periscope on a submarine until I saw a target, and it took a picture of my whole eye.  Pretty cool I thought as I sat in that goofy, uncomfortable chairwaiting for the optometrist while “Love’s Theme” 𖹭 ♫ played on their radio intercom.

After a knock at the door , it swung open and the hall light illuminated a statuesque blonde.  “Doc, it’s a miracle; I can see the light behind you!”  Crickets.  She introduced herself and after a moment of silence I muttered, “Barry White” which caused her to look down at my chart again to double-check my name.  I said, “Love’s Theme” 𖹭 ♫ by Barry White that’s the music playing.”  Crickets. 

She was all business.  We went through the letter charts line by line.  “What’s the lowest line you can read?”  she asked in a young girl’s voice frozen in time which led me to envision an evil uncle somewhere in the family tree that may have deprived her of both her innocence and sense of humor.  “Acme Printing Company, Walla Walla Washington.” She literally turned around to look at the form illuminated on the wall.  “It’s a scene from Bugs Bunny   when he takes his only eye exam”  I said.  Zero response.

Afterwards she said, “I’m going to write you a referral for cataract surgery”.  I said, “Well Doc you’ve got a lot of fancy equipment here, let’s say we just do that right now?”  Knowing full well she wasn’t an eye surgeon.  “We don’t do that here”. “Well, I’ll do every natural remedy  I can find before I do that.”  She said, “Well I’ll see you next year either way.”  I said, “Probably not, you’ll get another job offer in November and you should take it.”  She gave me that look Sparky gives you when you talk about taking him to the vet. 

Take care of your eyes, people.  Get an exam at least once a year.  Don’t toy with the dime store cheater readers , you’re not going to dial in both eyes correctly by process of elimination.

 Get on my schedule for odd folk remedies and selections that could improve your vision.  Should you be taking Lutein, eye bright drops, Astaxanthin, Bilberry Extract, Ivermectin, Beta Carotene or other?  We’ll chat with angels flying UFO’s and “see” what might work for you!  Book for 15 mins  or  30 mins.